Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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