Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
