I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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