Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
