I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
