we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
