his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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