It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
