thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
