Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
