all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
