I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
