This house was built for laser tag.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
