Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
