I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
