Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Less talking, more tequila
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your shirt... Was in my pants
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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