they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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