Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
