So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
