I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
