I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
