ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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