READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
