Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
