Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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