I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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