Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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