What a fucking waste of an outfit
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
