I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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