OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
