i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
