My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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