So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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