the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
