He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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