Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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