don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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