I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
