the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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