I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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