Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
