Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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