Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
