I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
