My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
