I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did i walk over a car last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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