no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
