ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
