the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
