Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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