I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
