one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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