Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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