Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
