I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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