please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
